Valid
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As we progress through life we are faced with different situations and how we handle those situations are shaped by our own perspectives, morals, ethics, upbringings, experiences, etc. I got a call from a friend the other day, he and I were talking about his most recent situation ending with someone he was really interested in. After he explained from his point of view what happened and how she handled the situation, he said “I just wouldn’t have done that.”
This is a very valid statement because that isn’t what he would’ve done but it doesn’t make what she did any less ‘correct’. It may make what she did hurtful to him. But in the end it is what she felt like she needed to do for herself.
I frequently see on social media, hear in conversation with others, or see on tv people stating “I wouldn’t have done that” or “Well, I don’t feel that way” and often times I feel as though the individuals that are saying those things forget that the other person has different point of view than they do. That’s why they wouldn’t have done that or that’s why they don’t feel that way.
It is easier said than done to take a step outside of what you are experiencing and look from another persons point of view. But in the long run I think it would save a lot of relationships people have with one another.
While I know this is easier for me to write about, I have put it into practice numerous times - professionally, romantically, and platonically. It is challenging but it has helped me not only remove my feelings from the situation but also be able to see from their perspective and work towards a solution that benefits everyone.
It takes a lot of care and maturity to even want to see things from another persons perspective and on top of that it take a lot of patience to do. but again in the long run I think it would benefit a lot of peoples relationships. And ultimately you may not have the capacity to do this and that is okay too, we can only handle so much.
So next time you’re in a situation where you and another person don’t see eye to eye - first check in with yourself and see if you have the capacity to handle this or do you need time to step away. And if you are able to handle it ask yourself:
“Do I care about this relationship enough to see how they see”
“What do I feel personally and how does it differ from how they feel or how they are handling the situation” “What would I do differently”
“How can I communicate how I feel while also leaving space for them to share with me”
Asking these question may been deemed as corny and possibly a waste of time- but it’s only corny if you don’t give a fuck and it’s only a waste of time if you don’t grow from it.
xoxx,
B
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