Happy Anniversary
scroll to the bottom for the audio version
A year ago yesterday my first blog entry went live and I want to celebrate that super quick - woo! I can’t believe it has been year - a year of vulnerability, yaaay.
As lovely as that is I want to talk about my life now. To do that let’s rewind to the very first blog entry I released. I was encouraging you to do what YOU want, no matter what others want or may say about your decisions. If we fast forward to present day - I still stand by that - I will always do what I want to do within reason - there can be limits to doing what you want to do and I can acknowledge that completely.
Between February 2023 and February 2024, let us do a little recap. I ended a friendship with someone I never thought I would’ve had to end a friendship with, I moved in with a boyfriend & broke up a few months later, I spent a month in Vegas, I bought a car, I saw one of my dearest friends marry the love of her life, I watch people I love start caring about their mental health, I have learned to walk away from friendships that aren’t healthy for my own mental and physical well being (after having a conversation with them or not), I moved back to Houston because I knew my time in this very underrated city was not finished, I have stood strong in my morals, values, beliefs, and boundaries while dating, I am being asked to travel for work, I have maintained healthy friendships with people I am closest with, AND so much more that I am probably forgetting but those are the things that come to the top of my mind when I think about this past year and ALLLL the things I have wanted to “spill the tea” about but haven’t had the energy to do so.
Anyway, all that oversharing to say - a year ago you couldn’t tell me I would be siting here writing all of those things out and you also couldn’t tell me that some of the entries I have posted would’ve been on the docket. but I love that all of these things, good and bad, have happened because I made all those decisions. At the end of the day they were either lessons and/or ended up being something beautiful.
Even the decisions that involved other people making a decision(?). An example being my people taking care of themselves. You may be thinking “well that wasn’t your decision”- but made a conscious decision to move back home and encouraged them grow while I was there. That was due to a lesson learned in June - I didn’t have to move home, I could’ve moved from Houston to Charlotte, Phoenix, Tampa, Dallas but I decided to go back and try to make the most of things. I will be honest it wasn’t all rainbow and butterflies when I was making my decision. Of course I didn’t want to move back to my parents I had just been there for 10 months but low-key I wasn’t in the proper headspace to just move to another move to a new city and I literally packed my clothes and left Houston in less than 32 hours.
I will say though, the decisions that I have made for me, have been some of the most uplifting decisions. An example, we will stay on the theme of moving, I decided to move back to Houston. I told myself this city would never see me again after the shock that was June. I went back and forth with myself about where to move - Houston, Dallas, or Phoenix. I ended up on Houston and let me tell you why. This is going to sound so dramatic but when it was just me in the apartment April 3rd to May 11th I had never felt so at peace. I was getting up at 5:30 in the morning for my walks and the gym, eating all three meals and snacks, keeping up on chores, decorating, writing entries bi-weekly, reading every night, on my p’s & q’s at work. And then even May 11th - May 25th when my boyfriend at the time was back - I was still on my routine I was just doing things for two people. As we all know that didn’t last long and I ended up moving out June 15th and that was okay — read the paragraph above if you need a refresher as to why I was okay. Back on track to what I was saying about an uplifting decision. When I was sitting there contemplating moving back to where my life did a complete 180, I asked “why the hell would I do that to myself.” I responded and said “well you made the decision to move there in the first place and if you take out the nonsense that was May 25th - June 15th and remembered how you felt you were genuinely thriving” - Elenoa would tell me when she saw me that I was glowing and it wasn’t because of my relationship, it was because I was absolutely loving my routine, my surroundings, my life. Fast forward to tonight I asked the guy I am dating what I should write about and he said “talk about your life in Houston” and I will in detail later on but as of right now it would be a short entry because aside from the last two weeks I haven’t done much (i’ll talk about these last two weeks in a different entry, I want that to be on its own) — but even though I haven’t done much I have found my peace again!
Majority of January ‘24 was a rough month not going to lie, it was filled with emotional turmoil lol but I believe that all needed to happen to get me to the emotional and mental state I am in today. The last week of January and these first couple weeks of February have been some of the best weeks I have had since April 2023 and they have been confirmation of why I moved back. At the start of this very long decision example I mentioned this being an uplifting decision. The reason I said that is because when you make a decision and maybe some people question you about it or even you have a little self doubt then things will end up unfolding but they end up unfolding how you want them to, do you know how much of confidence boost that is?! It’s huge, self confirmation is huge in boosting your self esteem. Even if things don’t unfold immediately, give it time…it’ll come together eventually and if not - it was a lesson learned and you have the opportunity to grow from it.
Now this was a bit chaotic of an entry so if you have made it this far - I appreciate you. I also realized about halfway through writing this up I talk a lot about decisions in my entries lol. Since it had been a year I really did want to revisit that first entry to celebrate and showcase some of the larger decisions I haven’t explicitly talked about. I also wanted to provide reassurance that again - if you make a decision and it doesn’t workout as planned, it is a lesson take what you need to grow and keep going. Even the wrong decisions lead us in the right direction.
xoxx,
B
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