Assuming
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I typically like to post an entry every other Monday, but today is Friday. Monday was a very difficult day for me for a few reasons but the main reason was that my dog, Bella, who we welcomed into the family 12 years ago passed away in my lap that evening.
I had just gotten back from spending a week in Colorado and when I got back my parents let me know she wasn’t doing well. We had a scheduled vet appointment for Monday evening but she declined so rapidly that she passed at home before we could get her there. Luckily for me, I wasn’t alone, my mom was home but my dad and brother were away in Philly for the Braves game. My mom’s friend was able to come over and help us carry Bella to the car and drive her to the vet so we could get her cremated. As we were driving she said something that I already think about pretty frequently and that weighed heavily on me this whole week.
She said, “This is one of those moments where I am hyper-aware that nobody has any idea what just happened and what we are doing.”
What she meant by that is as we are passing by people in their cars, on the sidewalk, in their homes we have no idea what they are doing, where they are headed, where they are coming from, what they are going through and they have no idea about us. It is so true we can sit and assume that the majority of the people were driving home from work but if they were to assume that about us it would be wrong. When my mom and I walked into the vet’s office they assumed we were there for an appointment with an animal that was alive and they weren’t wrong to assume that at all - but it was an incorrect assumption. It made having to make the statement “we need to drop off for cremation, we had a wellness appointment for Bella at 8 pm but she passed away at home” a little bit more of a challenge to get out.
I don’t want to sit here and say “You don’t know what someone is going through so just be kind” because I think we get that (also the people at the vet office were very nice when they found out) and sometimes - it’s difficult to just “be kind”. It is hard a lot of the time to be positive, nice, and friendly - especially with the way the world is set up right now. Even your Instagram friends, the corner store clerk you see every three days, your coworkers, and everyone we know is doing something or going through something that we know absolutely nothing about - even if it is your best friend or significant other. BUT they all assume something - good or bad. We all assume something!
I’ll be honest when I started writing this I just wanted to share that life is shitty and we go through things that nobody knows about and to be nice. However, I have an additional message. How people interact with us is not a reflection of us but a reflection of that person and what they assume. What matters most is how the people closest to our lives treat us and how we enter ourselves into the space of others. We can control who is in our lives, we can control how we communicate what we are going through with others, we can control how we show up for the people we know, and hell maybe even the majority of the time we can control how we show up in strangers’ spaces as well (based on our own wellness, their actions, and our assumptions lol).
All in all, we are human, we can be unkind and selfish and assuming but if we are mindful of ourselves and the life around us, even if it is for a brief moment in the day, it may make it a little easier to be kind, giving, and unassuming.
xoxx,
B
If you want to hear this in a sort of podcast format please click play below.