Too Sensitive.
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When I was younger I would be told “You’re dramatic”, “you’re being too sensitive”, “lighten up”, “stop being a cry-baby”, “you’re a drama queen”, “it’s not that serious”, and many other little snips from friends and family downplaying my emotions. Often times I repressed how I felt, didn’t let people see my raw, in-the-moment emotions, and eventually kept things bottled up. In the long run, super unhealthy, we will get to how I got out of those habits.
First I want to talk a little bit about maybe why I came off as “dramatic”, “sensitive”, or “a cry-baby”. If you aren’t into astrology then this just won’t be for you BUT this is something I believe in so I would love for you to stay and read.
A quick lesson on astrology is below before we get going - I am not an expert this is just compiled from everything that I have read on the internet.
Alright, now that you know the very very basics, I want to share my big six placements with you and their descriptions in relation to me. I have taken these from costar (I know I know).
Sun: Cancer
You’re fundamentally sensitive, nurturing, and gentle. Your emotions may feel like a burden to you. You’re deeply committed to your relationships and being good to the people you care about.
Moon: Pisces
Your emotional self is empathetic, dreamy, sensitive, and gentle. You feel vulnerable much of the time and desperately wish for a partner who deeply understands you.
Ascendant: Cancer
You come across as gentle, intuitive, and warm, though some may regard this as overly emotional or sensitive to criticism.
Mercury: Leo
Your intellect is persuasive, idealistic, and bold. A natural leader, you speak articulately and with confidence; you use creativity and warmth to win others’ attention. You may come across as overbearing and conceited.
Venus: Leo
Your romantic side is idealistic. You need a lot of love, care, and validation - in return, you don’t hold anything back in loving your partner.
Mars: Libra
While it may take you a while to make a decision, you assert yourself in a way that is fairminded and relativistic though sometimes passive-aggressive.
Taking the quick rundown of astrology that we reviewed and looking at my major 6 placements, not including their houses and other things that impact you as a whole - we see a lot of things that would have a heavy impact on why people would say I am, broad-term, “emotional”.
LIKE having all water signs in my big three (sun, moon, rising) AND then fire and the softest air sign being in those big six is… a lot.
We can sit here and be like, that’s broad, that’s not real, blah blah but I personally think it really makes a big impact on me as a person. Don’t worry I don’t use my zodiac placements as an excuse for behaviors lol but I could, right? I could be like “This is just how the stars were aligned when I was born and that’s how they intended for me to be” but instead I decided to look deeper in myself to gain understanding.
When I was young I was a little bit hot-headed, through my teen years I very much ignored my feelings and was a bit mean to others in turn of that ignorance. Then as a young adult, I would say up until two-ish years ago, I was a teary-eyed baby. I would complain about how I was feeling but wouldn’t really do anything about it and was very quick to respond to things, usually by crying. During the latter part of 2020 and into 2021 was really really when I started reflecting on how I could do better because something had to change - I was miserable.
A way that I initially found myself working on myself and my emotional intelligence was journaling a ton. It was always an outlet for me but I started being consistent and still am.
Another thing was being honest with myself about how I was feeling. I often found myself feeling how I thought I should be feeling. I took others’ emotions and expectations into consideration waaaaay more than I should have - this is something I am still working on. On top of that is being okay with feeling instead of suppressing my emotions or minimizing my feelings - if I feel something best believe I am going to feel it and make it known eventually in a productive way. Amber and Elenoa are always telling me “You’re human, you are able to feel a certain way about XYZ.” This is huge! I am human, I am not a robot, I can feel things and be able to express how I am feeling. I am incredibly grateful to have that space in my relationships.
And finally, I am being patient with myself. Derrick is so patient with how being able to communicate how he is feeling when he is able to be patient- it is incredibly admirable and he is someone that I look up to when it comes to emotional patience. Like I said before I was quick to respond to how I was feeling. With that, I am confrontational and I have been learning to be a bit less immediately confrontational.
Taking a step back instead of confronting things immediately by being able to sit with myself and ask
“why exactly am I feeling this way?”
“what are other factors that could be contributing to me feeling this way?”
“what would you like this situation to look like instead and how do you get there through communication?”
After asking these I usually feel clearer about the situation especially because usually it takes over an hour to sort through and that gives me time to chill out.
I am still a work in progress 100%, every day I am faced with a challenge in emotion and communication but being able to know who I am and how I handle things helps me get through those challenges.
I hope you are able to dig a little deeper into who you are and “why are you the way you are”. Maybe being open to exploring other avenues like astrology to help with this exploration!
xoxx,
B
If you want to hear this in a sort of podcast format please click play below.